The Truth

2007-01-03T00:11:00.000-08:00

Two quick things...

First, read Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. Genius!!!

Second, some people are really starting to get on my nerves. You know who you are.

Nothing much else to say. But I definitly feel like a pariah...

Emotion of the day..confused.

2007-01-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

man, i really hate the internet. well, not so much the internet but my lack of connection to it. I only seem to have periodic cases of connectivity and not even my ISP can tell me why. I wouldn't mind it so much, but I have to have email. In the end, I could always get some sort of mobile email device.

In other news, things have been weird lately, at home AND here in Fort Worth. I don't know what it is, but people seem to be going through some odd changes that logically make no sense. And anyone who knows me can tell you, I'm all about the logic. Simply put, in these cases, I wish I knew what the F*** was happening.

In addition, I wish people would just come out and say how things are. I hate these games of, "well, you should know what you did" or, let's beat around the bush on certain issues. I hate that. I'm a very direct person so I do not pick up on indirect things. It's unbelieveably frustrating...geez.

Anyway. That's it.

2006-12-13T22:22:00.000-08:00

I am back blog. Long time no see.

Well, I finished my first semester of grad school. Good times, good times.

Also, I'm kinda conflicted about the course life is taking. I know what I want, but I'm faced with a path a feel I have no control over. That is completely frustrating, because I'm used to being in control. In the end, I don't know what's worse.

On a lighter note, it's almost Christmas...yay?

Here we go folks..

2006-09-07T15:31:00.000-07:00

Im done with Facebook. I barely used it anyway, and these new changes creeped me out. So i'm gone. I'm also off of AIM, Trillian, and pretty much any chat program other than MSN. Long story.

I'm also really busy these days. When I'm free, I feel like I need to be working on something. It's bad. I know.

I just don't care anymore. I'm burned out and frustrated.

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Meh.

2006-09-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sad today. The Croc Hunter died.

I feel a legitimate sense of loss at hearing this news. I can't explain it.

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2006-08-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

Not much in terms of goings on.

School starts monday....ugh.

I'm posting random stuff just because. I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again.
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Funny:

--"You don't woo a woman by spending money. You make them feel special..." "Sit with her on a table and give her a kiss over cake...Take her to an art museum where a portrait I painted of her is waiting on display...Accidentally get locked into a department store where we can play with all the merchandise and thwart a robbery."

--"Your entire concept of romance is still based on old John Hughes movies?"

--"Why re-invent the wheel"

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This is so true. Romance is not always about a grand gesture, it's about putting something together that means something on a personal level that can be shared by you and the person you care most about. And if women tell you that it is about the lavish frivilities, then they don't understand it any better than you.

2006-08-16T14:03:00.001-07:00

You can laugh, you can feel fine
You can dance with a little twist
Tell you pretty red-head babe, you forget that I exist
Can you see yourself in a battered eye
Would you leave me on the side of the road
Would you walk right up to me, would you talk to me?
Already asking, down on my knees
I'm already begging, begging you please

Can you teach me how to fly?
You see I'm scared to die
I've only just begun to learn to crawl
Can you teach me how to fight?
You can keep me up all night
Would you be there on the ground if I should fall?
Fall for you

I can feel it like a spider's sting
Like a memory in my mouth
I feel like the morning fell, like the bottom's falling out
I can see what's up there above it all, even down in the valley below
I can walk right up to you, I can talk to you
Already asking, down on my knees
I'm already begging, begging you please

Can you teach me how to fly?
You see I'm scared to die
I've only just begun to learn to crawl
Can you teach me how to fight?
You can keep me up all night
Would you be there on the ground if I should fall?
Fall for you
Fall for you

Can you teach me how to fly?
You see I'm scared to die
I've only just begun to learn to crawl
Can you teach me how to fight?
You can keep me up all night
Would you be there on the ground if I should fall?
Fall for you
Fall for you
Fall for you

--Black Lab

2006-08-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

--Black Lab

2006-08-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

My internet has been down the last three days. Other than the fact I couldn't check my bank statements, it was actually kinda nice.

I think this is because I'm feeling very anti-social lately. I don't really know why, which is weird. Maybe it's because school is starting soon and I'm thinking about that...I don't know.

I've been having a reoccuring dream of being locked in a mall, I think anyway. I just know that I'm in a building and all the doors our locked. I have no rational reason for wanting to leave, i.e. rampaging zombies or any other type of event, but I just want to leave. I wonder what that says....Freud where art thou.

Also, I feel like a major decision is coming up.

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Sometimes a situation demands a quick reaction...boy was I off on that one.

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I'm contemplative

2006-08-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Taking a break for a while.

See ya.

2006-07-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Exciting night last night:

Trance clubs, while fun and filled with topless angels, kind of get repetitive after the fourth hour. Also, the music tends to pound in your head many, many hours afterwards. Otherwise, an awesome evening was had.

I may have to get an H3. For no other reason than they have the manuverability of a tiny, tiny car. As I found out weaving in an out of Dallas traffic going about 80 mph. I found myself hanging on for dear life on more than one occasion. Weeeeee!!!
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Something more serious:

I'm sorely disappointed in some people.

2006-07-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Two observations for today:

1. I went to the gas station and had the "pleasure" of seeing a Cadillac Escalade, with shiny chrome spinners no less. However, it was being driven by the tiniest of white girls. Now, my first thought was, "that's odd, I've never seen a tiny white girl driving an Escalade." Aside from the gender/racist speculation on my part, I learned that it was indeed her car. (I gained this knowledge from the fact that she was talking loudly on her cell phone)

Now, the odd thing about this is that she seemed genuinely shocked at how much gas they use. Complaining that it cost so much. I just wanted to ask her, "you do realize that you're driving a huge suv right?" But it got me thinking that there are people that honestly don't think about things like that until they are forced to.

Then it started a train of thoughts that just reinforced the fact that adding ethanol to gas rips people off because it burns faster than non-ethanoled fuel. Which causes you to waste gas and have to buy more.
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2. The second observation is that I love the Ninja Turtles. It takes me back to a happier time in my life, to quote Randel from "Clerks II". I recently saw a trailer for the new movie, and it made me think back to when I was 8 and sat on the floor cross-legged Saturday morning watching the hokey adventures of four humanoid turtles. Here is a pic:

Yes, I know. And I fully embrace my geekiness. Embrace it fully. HA.
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Also, Political correctness bothers me. From MSNBC:

"I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine," one person wrote. "I immediately turned the magazine face down," wrote another. "Gross," said a third.

These readers weren't complaining about a sexually explicit cover, but rather one of a baby nursing, on a wholesome parenting magazine...

Babytalk is a free magazine whose readership is overwhelmingly mothers of babies. Yet in a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo Â a baby and part of a woman's breast, in profile Â inappropriate.
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Are you kidding me? Here's an idea...DON'T LOOK AT IT. If you are "uncomfortable" looking at it, then don't. I mean, It is a magazine about mothers and babies, so is it real surprising that they'd do an article on breast-feeding? Or even have pictures? I'm not surprised though, most of these people interviewed are from Texas.

The article goes on with these people comparing the magazine to other publications, using the excuse that it, quote "can excite males, who are visual beings." I don't even have a response to that.

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Until next time....

Random Shizzle

2006-07-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

It's going to be a busy weekend.

1. Going to see Andy Moor Friday
2. Going to the Gran Fiesta de Fort Worth tomorrow night. This is going to be so fun, I went last year and I had a blast.
3. Alan is coming back into town Sunday and we are watching Jurassic 5 on Monday. Hopefully no one will get punched this time.

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Not much else to say. I've been doing a lot of internalizing this week. I think I'm just going through a phase where I'm looking at things from all angles and rather than explaining things, I just work it out on my own.

Also, I've been doing a lot, I mean ALOT, of random writings. I have atleast 70 pages of Word documents on various things:

-world events
-religious introspections
-relationship musings
-short stories I start but never finish
-Random theories about things

It's so random. I was looking through all these earlier today....wow. (that's all I can say).

I'm also feeling more secretive.

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Word of the day: beguile

2006-07-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to do.....

I want things to go back like they were....

2006-07-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Mostly about the state of the world. I'm going to spill my thoughts, and hopefully it all makes sense.

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I've been noticing that our world has started slipping into chaos. More and more, conflicts and hatred seem to be the norm and any evidence of tolerance is quickly squashed in a sea of fundamentalist ideology. These Religious, Political and societal "norms" are becoming more and more dominant from national leaders to school teachers.

It feels like things are slowly returning to the Middle Ages with Fear being the dominate emotion. Examples abound; fear based news casts, political agendas, religious agendas. The "responsible" leaders in these respective fields seem to feed on the peoples fear. It gives them power and the use that to exploit the fear they evoke. It's scary. It really is. I have pride in the fact that I have this intuitive nature about things; like the future or people, however, as much as I try, I can't get a clear read on what this will bring.

It also scares me that people just seem to accept these things. The days of questioning those in charge seem to be rapidly waning in favor of blind acceptance. I don't know about the rest of you, but that freaks me out.

It also amazes me how people truly are once you get past the outer layer. I can honestly say that the amount of people that I truly trust can be counted on one hand. That's in part due to my nature, but also because of circumstances.

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I had a lot more to say, but I'm exhausted.

2006-06-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

Oh the month of June.

The things I've seen would fill a full season of teen-drama angst on the Fox network.

Hmm...Superman is the awesome of awesome, and I would totally see it again.

'Nuff Said.

Plus it answered my question of "what would happen if Superman was shot in the eye?"

Brilliant!!
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Some big events coming up:

July 4th (fireworks, woooo)
Rancid and J5 concerts

I'm finally settled in my new place. It's niiiice. The only downside is that it's a freakin chore to clean the other place, but that is almost done.

I'm tired.

2006-06-14T21:09:00.000-07:00

So much is going on right now. I don't know where to begin...So I'll leave it at that for now.

I'm almost done moving. It has been a slow and steady process, which is a pain for me because I'm all about the fast and shaky.

"Where to go from here?"

---That's pretty much the $100 million question at the moment.

More to say later.

Stay classy

2006-06-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

One more week of business classes. I really think I've learned a lot and I found I really like marketing and finance. It's so cool even though I dislike math.

I finally signed my lease, but I now have about 11 days to fully move starting June 9th. Not cool.
I haven't gotten to do anything fun this summer. I'm hoping that I have at least two weeks before I start grad school that I can just relax and geek out. That's been seriously lacking this summer so far.

2006-05-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

I was in fine form tonight. That is just what I needed.

I think it went well, and will have to do it again.

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Otherwise, it was a very long day. But tomorrow should be good.

I have two weeks of business left, during which I can finally move. (WHOO).

Too tired to write anything else.

Word of the night: satisfied.

2006-05-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

I'm done.

See you in August

2006-05-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

Things keep moving along. Some good, some not so good. But that's what life is about right? Balance?

Had a great time last night. Thanks.

I completely overslept today and missed the entire morning half of business school. It's cool though, we were just doing global business.

Sign my lease today on my new apartment, but because of frustrating developments, I can't move in until mid-late June. Sigh.

Have fun this summer. Peace.

2006-05-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

Day three into the business program. Things are going great so far. Just finished shooting a commercial where I was the voice of a stuffed bear; Always fun. We are about to start a business simulation, which I hope goes well.
I'm finding that I rather like business, certain aspects anyway. I'm talking to one of the MBA students who runs an NGO in Bulgaria for orphaned children. They are thinking about expanding the program to include Colombia, which if that's the case, I'm so on board.

However, the days are going by so slowly and by the time 4 pm roles around, I'm just ready to take it easy. Tonight they were having a poker night, so I may drop in on that later. After I work out of course.

I'm moving in exactly 2 weeks. So I really only have two weekends to get stuff together. However, I have until the 24th of June to get things fully moved, so that'll take a load off.

I think it's time to do my, summer disappearing act. There is no one around really anyway and I am bored off my ass when I have the free time. Except in certain circumstances, and those being when I'm with Tunti. So we'll see whenever the summer gets into full swing.

Things seem to be changing for people. Which I think is a great thing. I too am changing, and instead of fighting it, I'm just embracing the hell out of it. And I'm happy about that.

hmm...I think that's all for now. If I think of anything else. You'll be the first to know Blog.

2006-05-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

Update:

I've graduated and walk Saturday at 3:00pm. Come if you can.

I start a Business program on the 15th thru June 9th. I don't know what to make of that just yet.

My plans to move into a new apartment have moved up to June 1st. It was July 1st. Which means I will have to slowly start to pack now because I hate packing.

I'm in the process of looking for a job. If you know of anything let me know.

The big question is..What now? I start grad school in the fall; exciting, nerve racking, etc.

Do keep in touch. Peace.

2006-05-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

"Your life is the sum of your choices."

That was scrawled on one of the desks in the reading room. Over the course of the hour or so I was there, I kept reading it and kept thinking about it. It was so odd. *Shrugs*

Tomorrow is it. Done. Over. Be around Beasely Hall about 5 pm and watch as one happy senior dances out of the building and onto the next stage of his life.

However, today was an odd day. I found myself in the middle of more than one person to person spat, and playing the mediator in both. But the arguments were so odd and pointless, that it qualifies as making the day odd.

Another odd tidbit. It involves a nap I had today and the retelling will be done in the style of Edgar Allen Poe: (aside from the dialogue, It happened like this)

While I nodded, soundly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door."
'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
But the fact is, I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
Here I opened wide the door;
---Darkness there, and nothing more.

It was so odd. I think I was dreaming because I went to lay back down and woke up startled. So I was either dreaming, or had a serious out of body experience. It's not uncommon for me to experience that, but this time it was so strong.

That's all for now folks.

2006-05-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

You are Grounded

You are one of the fortunate few people who is perfectly content with themselves. Though maybe not overly confident, you don't struggle with any significant insecurities and are certainly not shy. You aren't emotional, and though this makes you seem uncaring sometimes, anyone who gets to know you a little better knows there is a whole load of emotion just beneath the surface, you just control it very well.

The downside of being so balanced is you don't readily throw yourself off balance, like falling in love, for instance. You lack the capacity to be creative in a truly original sense and need someone else to bring flair and individuality into your life, or else run the risk of having your life become mundane and boring.

As you are so steadfast and capable, you can be a rock for a less secure person. You love being supportive and helping and could give yourself forever, as long as you got a little back. It doesn't take much to keep you happy, and when you do fall in love you are wholeheartedly there for your partner through all the highs and lows life throws at you.

Most compatible with: The Dreamer

The Dreamer is the polar opposite to you. Overly emotional, unstable and unbalanced, they are far from the secure person you are, but they have an artistic side that you will never have. They can see beauty and romance in everything, things you would take no notice of. Though you will often struggle to see eye to eye with the Dreamer, the intrigue and mystery that surrounds them and the colour they bring to your life will keep you holding onto them forever. After all, opposites attract, neh?

Least compatible with: The Submissive

The Submissive is only interested in serving their partner, and as you are an independent person who likes doing things for themselves and has no need for someone to depend on, a relationship with the Submissive is likely to irritate you to no end.

Take this quiz

2006-05-04T16:12:00.000-07:00

Bush Grants Self Special Powers
"War on terror justifies use of super-strength, heat
vision, says Commander-in-Chief"
BY Brendon McGinley

"Desperate times call for desperate housemeasures," President George W. Bush told a gathering of reporters this week. "That is why I am reluctably invoking my Presidential right, as outlined in the Constitution, to grant myself the ability to conduct domestic wiretaps, fly and speak to fish."
Citing the continuing war of terror, as well as other emotions, President Bush held a press conference in the Rose Garden Monday to announce the shocking changes to our current system of government and understanding of human physiology.
"I swore to preserve and protect you to the best of my ability." he told reporters, "and those abilities must be superhumanous."
Wearing an army-issue flight-suit and a homemade cape, Bush immediately announced plans to cut taxes for the richest five percent of Americans and haul all of Pakistan's nuclear weapons into the sun.
The use of superpowers by the President is already being met with suspicion by both parties in Congress, who are promising swift hearings into the matter. "They're going to have to be really swift hearings to catch me," Bush said. "I can run at speeds approaching Mach 5!"
In response to the hearings and comments by Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.), who criticized President Bush's use of superhumanous powers, Bush immediately announced plans to "crush Senator Loudmouth's trachea with my telephonikinesis [sic]." Bush also demanded reporters refer to him as Commander-in-Freedom. "I wanted the name Captain America, but it was taken by someone else, " he joked.
At that, Secretary of Defense Donald "Captain America" Rumsfeld leapt onto the stage and awkwardly hurled a red, white and blue shield to the back of the room. Two reporters were injured by the metal disk.
Still, there remains doubt in some circles that Bush can even manifest the powers he claims to be granting himself. "I'm no Constitutional scholar, but I'm pretty sure it's outside of the boundaries of human physiology to possess such powers," said Dr. Joanna Kramer, chair of the biology department at UC Berkeley. Bush immediately denounced Kramer as hating freedom and announced plans to blow away her house with his super breath.
American response to the announcement has been mixed, and often puzzling. When asked "What do you think of President Bush's new powers?", local dock worker Bill Rancine says, "I hope none of the powers require a magic word to activate them. He's not much for pronunciation." Long time Bush supporter Suzanne Pinter on the other hand thinks it's a good idea. "As a die-hard Bush supporter, I hear your question as, "How awesome is George Bush?" The answer is, "very awesome,"" Pinter responded with a puzzling smile and vacant look on her face. Jamie Ibold, a local lobbyist for the Committee to Stop A Super Powered Bush, responded a little more pragmatically. "I hear the Democratic national Committee is already preparing a cybernetic exoskeleton for Hillary in '08, just to level the field."

Copyright: Wizard Magazine, 2006

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Things are almost over. I just have to get through one major hurdle. In order for you to understand the severity of my last final, picture a three-headed dog chasing you spitting knives AND bees out of it's mouths. Yeah. That's it.

I really like Chili Cheese Fritos. I don't know why, but I bought a bag today after a looong time, and I ate some and said to myself "damn, them's some gooood chips". ( My grammer sucks when I eat something I really like)

That's all I think.

2006-04-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

I need a break from my brain. It's gotten me into nothing but trouble.

I also wish I could deal with someone in a way that is amiable to both people. I'm so tired of pretending that things are ok.

I need to take some time away from people right now. Not all people, you'll know who you are if a) you talk to me online and I don't respond, b) tell you straight up or c) don't hear from me for a while. I just feel like certain people are using me if nothing else is available. Last time I checked, friendship wasn't based on convenience and honestly, I'm just tired of always trying to be a good friend and getting nothing in return.

It's a generally 'blah' day for me. In case you can't tell. I'm just tired of dealing with crap and I cannot wait until May 13th rolls around. I need a serious break things at the moment.

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"Sometimes the things we love do not love us back. Persistence is a fools thought, being persistently in love with that which we cannot have is equally so" --anonymous.

I don't know if I feel this way. Love is a complicated emotion. Scary, but very complicated.

hmm....what am I trying to say?

2006-04-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

Man I was so wasted....

Watching sandwiches and Root Beer argue over which tastes better. Think about it, it makes sense. (Winner: Root Beer)

If I could be put into a painting, I'd want Salvador Dali to create it. There is something to be had to have a painting of your face that could also be a fruit dish or the mid section of a dog sitting on a table. Man I love abstract art.

There used to 10 feet tall apes wondering around China and South Asia. 10 feet tall...Geez, the crap that thing slings must be the size of a hoagie. The History channel really makes you think.

2006-04-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

I might have to start watching Fear Factor in order to spot when Joe Rogan is totally stoned, because apparently he is stoned a lot.

I don't understand why certain people are the way they are.

I wish a lot of times I could just say what I mean to say.

Overall though, it was a long and pointless day. The weather is probably 95.3% responsible for that.

I don't have a lot to say apparently, but I have so much running through my head. It's a paradox that makes you go, "hmm..."

2006-04-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

Once you are tagged you MUST write a blog about your 6 weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I have a habit of following my instincts and intuition WAY too much. Most of the time it's spot on, but the times its not, OH MAN can it get awkward. Hehe.
2. My lifes goal is to eventually own a boat and just sail away somewhere. However, I have never been on or near a boat in my life.
3. I'm always looking into the future (not in a crystal ball sense), and I try to shape events to fit that particular vision. It gets rather frustrating as I'm typically trying to manage so many different things. AKA, I'm a control freak.
4. I have random bouts of OCD in the form of this impulsive need to clean. It occurs out of the blue and I usually walk around my apartment trying to find something to clean.
5. I will pretty much try any food at least once. That's gotten me into trouble once or twice because of allergies to certain foods (ex. pickles). But I love pickles. :(
6. I get bored way too easily. Anyone who knows me can explain that better.

I tag: Paolo, Alan, Nico....and anyone else who reads this.

2006-04-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

Ive got a question..

Who put ram in the rama lama ding dong?

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So I woke up feeling like (poo, shit, crap)this morning. Sinus infection and all that. Needless to say, I've been up since about 2 am non-stop. (!!skcus)

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Ive rediscovered my appeal for drawing. And I'm rather good at it.

**So starting now, I am willing to draw people and there will only be a minimal amount of nudity involved**

So as not to be labeled a pervert, applicants must be large, hairy dudes. The uglier the better.

Attractive female applicants don't feel bad, I'm sure we can work something out.
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Thats all for now. It is time to take medicine and go to sleep. Damn you sickness for thwarting my study day today. Grrrr..

EDIT

Note to Britney Spears and her husband K-Fed..Stop having children. Right now. America doesnt need another of your shallow seeds populating our country, nor do the ranks of the White Trash Army need more people destined to be their generals.

Finally,

You're welcome

2006-04-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

Long and pointless day.

I did register for my classes for Grad school today and boy did I sign up for a treasure trove of classes (re: boring).

Just saying their names makes me want to hang myself, I might have to rethink my A&M stance should I get accepted there. At least I'd be involved in something political.

Hmm..thoughts of randomness fill my fragile head.

Brain Age ----live the awesomeness.

More to come later...sleep now.

2006-04-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

First, a bit of adminstration news:

I wasn't admitted into Georgetown for their graduate program. Boohoo I know. That just means that Fort Worth has to put up with me a little while longer.

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Your Birthdate: October 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.

A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.

You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.

You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.

Your strength: Your devotion

Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness

Your power color: Lilac

Your power symbol: Heart

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Thanks to Mallory and her xanga for this which I stole.
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So much to do this week. So, so much.

p.s. I love Super Mario Bros. I don't know why; childhood memories perhaprs. *shrugs*

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Thats all for now plebs.

2006-04-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I was so tired yesterday, but at one point I found myself looking at eBay to see if I could find anything of interest. Well, for convenience eBay puts things in categories for you, for example: videos, jewelry, automobiles etc. Curiously there was one called "Baby". *remember, I'm tired here*, I turned to the person next to me and said "they sell babies on eBay?".

This is what being tired does to you. Sheesh.

One more full week folks. Then I will be officially of the TCU graduating class of 2006. It's exciting, but a little scary at the same time. I realized that I may never see certain people again once school is over, which sucks. In the meantime, I still have no clue what I'm doing after graduation.

I caught myself thinking the other day about things I would have done differently, chances I would have taken (typical graduation thoughts I think), missed opportunities and I realized, I left a lot undone. This is especially true of chances and missed opportunities. I wonder what could have been.....(insert flashback)

I'm feeling very open these days. Shadiness be damned I say. lol. Now's the time to ask me things people...
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I've been wondering this for four years or so, Why the hell is American Idol so popular??

I mean, it's the stupidest show on TV right now, and its seductive wiles have corrupted my favorite morning radio duo Opie and Anthony who talk about it every week. Sad, so very sad.

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Finally, with graduation so close, I only want one thing for a present...

The Aston Martin Vanquish S *drooool*

This is sex in car form....I only need $255,000.

Donation can be sent directly to me.

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2006-04-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

WORST DAY EVER!!!!!

I got to the point several times today where I was so pissed off I was shaking.

New Rule: If you're stupid (because I say you are) just shut up or I will punch you in the face. And if you're a stupid redneck who drives a Dodge Ram, I will kick you in the knee caps just to make a point.

I wish people would just say what they fucking mean instead of playing some childish game of "ooo..what do I know but won't tell you" because seriously, I don't have time for that shit.

I'm done.

2006-04-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting couple of days. Easter was tiring because I was doing manual labor for my grandma, as well as recieving homecooked food. So on that I really can't complain.

I also feel like my whole outlook on things is beginning to shift. Relationships, ideas, just alot of things in general are not as important to me as they once were.

But it seems like the word of the last week and this week is: interesting

I was thinking today about shows that I used to watch when I was younger, and the music I used to listen to. I have to say, that I was such a geek even in elementary school. And I still remember that my first grade teacher stole my Ninja Turtle books.

Is it just me, or do things seem a little off???

Hmm....

2006-04-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

Im perplexed..or perplexing. I'm not sure which one.

Things keep sailing along, sailing indeed.

It has been so dull the last week or so. Nothing of interest has happened, nor has anyone interesting crossed my path. It's that Spring time blues I guess.

In other news, I think I've decided to be an Independent as far as politics go. I can no longer stomach the political pandering from the Democrats and the Republicans.

2006-04-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

I was reminded today of why I love Six Flags. I was reminded of that as my stomach went into my throat as the Mr. Freeze, Batman, and Titan roller coasters tested my ability to watch as the world literally turned upside down. f-u-c-k-I-n-g AWESOME.

Also, seeing Spongebob Squarepants in 3D was disturbingly entertaining but I did buy a wicked cool GL t-shirt.

On the down side, I think I got a little sun burned, as I do not tan well. I get red for a few days and then it just goes away.

It's going to be a rather dull week. This weekend however, well Saturday, I am going out to my grandma's to help clean up the old farm. It's a long story as to why, but it should be long and tiring.

I think that's all. Adios

2006-04-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

I don't like it when plans don't come together. It just feels odd.

Things change, things never really stay the same.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

Sometimes people just need to grow up and not look to the things to always be there, because as I noted above "things change". I realized that I too need to change, especially in my dealings with people because ultimately it just makes me frustrated and I'm tired of that.

Does it ever get easier to lay yourself out there? I don't think it does.

I'm through. Just in general.

2006-04-04T20:22:00.000-07:00

Two weird things today:

1. When I called to find out the total price for the Summer Business program, this is what the lady said:

Lady: "what is the name?"
me: "Blake Erickson Williams"
lady: "OH..I really enjoyed reading your application. You're just the type of person we need in this program."
me: ".......Thank you."

After that I couldn't tell if she was being funny or serious. It was odd.

2. I was called to do an interview with the Skiff regarding Tom Delay stepping down and not seeking re-election. But I was called right in the middle of running some errands, yet it didn't stop me from getting on my soap box about the whole thing.
But you could totally hear what I was doing in the background (buying groceries) and I wouldn't be surprised if in the article it reads something like "...I don't think it'll hurt *yeah, I have my card* ..Don't think it'll hurt the Republicans *plastic...No, I can get it* in the long run."
Honestly, I wasn't even paying attention.

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I'm all over the place mentally. But I realized that I can multi-task like some super space age computer. It makes me mentally tired though, and this time change isn't helping.

I need a break.

I want to do something adventurous, but apparently lack the imagination for such a feat. I'm thinking sky diving, but we'll see.

I think that's all for now. I lead a very boring life these days it would seem.

2006-04-02T10:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a fun/frustrating/curious couple of days. I saw Ice Age 2: which is absolutly hilarious, and V for Vendetta: which is just as awsome. (although for V, I was falling asleep because it was so late when I saw it)

I've been sketching too. I used to do that a lot when I was younger, but I stopped and now I've started again. It's like some weird karmic hoo-ha.

I like people, well certain people I should say. And I'm there if you need me.

I slept on my jaw or something, because I woke up up and it felt like I had lockjaw. It was so sore and I don't know why. Maybe I compete in Fight Club at night..like some odd werewolf angle? I have no clue.

I have one test this week and I should hear back from Georgetown this week. Exciting. Then I want to just kick back this weekend. So if anyone is up for anything, you know how to reach me.

Well, time to head to the library. I've got a hard history exam tuesday and I have about 4 weeks of material to catch up on. You know you envy me.

Peace in the Middle East. And unless I forget.. The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

2006-03-31T07:46:00.000-08:00

I wanted to do something significant with this, but as it turns out that isn't the case. I just need a place where I can rant and not have to deal with the bullshit that is compromise.

Back in the day, nothing surprised me. It's like I had an insight into people or situations and I always knew what was going on, sometimes before other people did. Today, I feel like I've lost that. People are constantly not who they appear and their words and actions are very much not appealing to me.

I guess the same can be said for me though too. I'm just as secretive as those people, and maybe even more so. I constantly find myself maneuvering or manipulating situations in order to get the best result, but I also feel like I'm being worked over as well. I don't have specific names to give but it just seems that people in general are loosing their honesty.

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This on again, off again thing between you and I is confusing; for me anyway. My feelings on the matter are that I'm wasting my time and that friendship is a non-important issue anymore. I am too that point where I'll just wave and say "see ya". But whatever right?

That's all for now.

Tempus Fugit